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Tuesday, June 26, 2012
The weekend

Started my first sectionals with the primes last sat. So little ppl haha! And both the sls were not there. Well, I feel that the songs next sem are more difficult than the ones last sem, and if I were still in alto1 I would not be able to survive the auditions. That said, prime parts were not that easy too. Notes for Spring were ok for me to handle and for once I could sightread and play slowly with the rest! Haha very happy but I'm not that easily contented lol. Not for sightreading like that at least. My inability to count was actually the biggest problem, esp for Kiko, and that is the thing I'm gonna tackle when my sightreading improves a bit. Haiz. I think my phobia with reading music score is more of counting. Forever cant count :(

Kiko sounds like a nice beach song, reminds me of Lilo and Stitch, always have that image of L and S in my head whenever someone mentions Kiko haha. Sevilla was a killer! Goodness me. Still stuck at the first few bars of chords after so long!

Hmm I felt sectionals were a bit..... not as warm as a1 sectionals last sem. Cos I don't really know the others??? Hmm or maybe there were too little ppl? Or maybe we've just got the scores and just started looking at it properly (I didn't really prac a lot when the scores were put into dropbox :x) so thats why I feel this way? Maybe HS felt this way too so halfway through he asked us if we knew each other. Haha I mean I know who they are, like LK, SM and XZ, but don't really know them well. Hope I will have the opportunity to know them better as time goes by!

After sectionals was prac for 15 Jul's engagement. Was sitting one side at the back and felt so lonely cos everyone had guitars and I have nothing :( It got better after YJ came and M gt the wooden cowbells for me. Felt a bit sad when they were playing rainbow and I was just sitting and listening. I want to play too! Haha. But I know my own playing and don't want to throw face on stage with my bad playing. I was hoping to be able to play rainbow cos I miss alto haha, didn't know I will be so attached to alto, not sure if it's the people or the guitar, or probably it's the sound? So I was a bit sad and disappointed when CC told me no nid to play for rainbow. My last chance of playing with a1 this sem.... Haha, but anw, I wouldn't want to become the spotlight of attention for spoiling the song. So I'll just contend with being at one side and meanwhile, improve my playing!! So that I can survive prime and hopefully one day able to return to alto. I hope that I'll be able to be in alto for my last sem here. Gotta work towards that! And I wanted to try the guitarron too. Hahaha. Too ambitious?

After the prac went for dinner at Utown. Then went for ice cream at Holland V. I wanted to try the bubblegum ice cream actually. The one we ordered was so exp! $7.50 for one small bowl. It tasted like cookie dough mashed with some ice cream. Not bad but not worth it for $7.50. I'd rather eat at Haagen Dazs. Haha my caramel and cookie smth. Cant rmb the name. But I wasn't really in the mood for ice cream after that, plus I'm not even supposed to eat cold things cos it's the time of the month (ahem), so I didn't eat sommore. And to think I was the one who suggested eating ice cream! Totally forgot I was supposed to abstain from cold food. But luckily it didn't cause much discomfort for me after that :D

Talked a bit and I wanted to participate more in the convo, but I was getting tired and I couldn't catch most of the convo. Argh stupid ear, what's with this hearing prob? I think I must involve myself more else ppl might think I'm not interested, when I really am. Went home after that and I was very tired!

The next day met up with E and WK for a lunch to celebrate E's birthday. E was late haha, almost 2.30pm when we ordered. I was starving cos I didn't eat breakfast. The last time I met E was last year's Punggol outing. Ridiculous! How can good friends not meet for so long? I must make a mental note to organise more outings, hopefully one before sch starts, to sing! I must simply do away with this ridiculousity of not meeting my good friends for so long and only meet when there is a special occasion or smth.

Ended up playing with those catching plushies game after lunch cos there was nothing to do there, even the arcade's not appealing lol. Don't even have basketball dunking or air hockey, only got plenty of shooting and those buttons-with-a-joystick game machines. Usually I will google their proper names, but now I don't feel like bothering lol.

After that went home to prepare for violin lessons. I missed my buses (arghhhh) and ended up 15 mins late. So left 15 mins for the lesson and the teacher was nice to extend it for another 5 mins. Totally felt like a steam engine then, super angry and pissed inside, and I couldn't hide it on the outside. Could feel my fists clenching tightly on the case handle and feeling like I'm going to explode anytime if I still don't get to the school soon. Anw, they seemed nice to reserve the afternoon slot for me, so wef from July aka nxt week onwards, I'll be having my violin lessons in the afternoon. Yay! No more missing dinner time. I must plan properly so I won't miss my lunch time too. And argh, nid to prac more, totally embarrassed myself with the awful sounds I produced. On another note, I progressed to the 3rd finger! I must prac my instruments more, must not embarrass myself any further during lessons or feel like an outcast during guitar pracs.

Gonna go shopping to get ready for the ls prep camp next week. Gonna print docs before sectionals this sat. Seems like the prep camp might not be so much of a blast cos so little ppl. Haiz now I really regret not going for scamp or sow. Dammit. Keep making the wrong decisions. But hope that I'll be happier when sat arrives <3

And off to prepare matric fair stuffs and other pub stuffs. Feel really excited for matric fair. New juniors! Haha. I hope I'll be able to go everyday. I realise I do love my cca a lot. I'm gonna be so sad if I have to leave ;((((((((( And it's time to put down the past, and live in the present, cos soon, I'll no longer be the ps.

Oh man I really want to go camps now! Any camps for me to go?

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Thursday, June 21, 2012
Can't sleep!

Couldn't slp after waking up at 1 plus just now, so I thought I might as well do something useful of the time rather than tossing arnd in bed trying to slp. The past week has been rather slack, only went out of house on tues for prac. Can't really keep up with the rhythm throughout the entire song. It's so hard to be a percussionist! Haha I better keep up with my instruments. Speaking of which, sectionals gonna resume this sat! And I haven really picked up my guitar yet. Haven look through the scores too. Arghhhhh.

And I'll be having violin lesson this sun. And I haven really touched my violin for this week. Haven even cleaned it yet, oh no I'm getting lazy. Must set down to prac it and clean it ltr before I get out of the house. To meet partner to do up matric fair publicity. And haven gotten present yet! Haha shall go scout for one tmr before meeting partner.

Oh I suddenly wanted to go for camps, like those bigger scale ones, cos I nv go before and I wanna go before I grad (if not then there'll be no more), but union camp prep camp has passed and actual camp clashes with ls camp. Lol thr doesn't seem to be enough seniors for ls camp, so I'm not sure how it will turn out. Must be more enthu and friendly to keep the freshies and make new friends!

Oh and I have decided I am gng to overload next sem and hopefully be able to take PL1101E although that would mean I will be fighting with the freshies over the bell curve, but bah! I'm gonna do my minor in psych hopefully. If not then I'll have to take special sem next year. Damn, should have planned more properly. But no, nobody is going to influence my decisions agn. I will probably overload for next year, but most imptly, is to get my cap up to at least 4 by next sem. I've been slacking since forever and this is not acceptable! This is Sparta!! Lol, there is gng to be much to juggle next sem, overloading; practising guitar; publicity stuffs; violin; and hopefully I'll be able to get a tuition assignment or two, in case I need to take special sem next year, so need to save up. And I should consider dropping violin if I really cannot cope, cos I can't drop anything else other than violin lol. But I think I can, if I get my act together and stop slacking. NOW. This is Sparta!!!

There! My two most impt goals for next sem:
1) Get my overall cap up to at least 4, which would mean I probably have to be a dean lister next sem
2) Be able to sightread fast for guitar, this prob has been plaguing me forever and it's high time I eliminate it

I seem to be more angsty and fiesty these days, can't seem to control/ contain my anger properly. Sigh, feel like I'm on the road to high blood pressure :( Accelerated by the fact I haven been exercising and am growing fatter. I'm in the 50s range now! Arghhhhhh no cannot do. Must start living healthy. I shall start planning my timetable so that I can live healthy next sem (means slp enough), prac guitar often until I can achieve goal #2, study enough (more than that) so that I can achieve goal #1 and declare a psych minor by sem 2, if not by special sem next year, prac violin so that I can be proud to call myself a violinist (excited at that prospect!), and build good and long-lasting relationships with my friends (cos I feel I haven been keeping friends). Yup, different goals to achieve, so that I can fulfil my ultimate aim of living life meaningfully to its fullest and being happy.

Hoho I think that should be enough for now. Still don't feel slpy yet. Arghhhh why. Then tmr I will wake up in afternoon argh no that shalt not happen. Shall force myself to relax and slp. Off to update my calendar!

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Monday, June 11, 2012
A short random post

Another violin lesson ystd! Started gng into the 2nd position on the fingerboard and my lousy sightreading was exposed! Argh no idea why I feel very nervous. Better tackle it before the other notes come in!

Accidentally fell aslp last night while doing proposal :x could be due to the flu medicine. Anw I feel better now, at least my nose is not blocked anymore. Yay! Ohh but still haven't finish proposal yet. New ideas, come to me!

To be honest I don't know what is the purpose of this post. Not much happening in my life now. Proposals, matric fair stuffs, practices. Then not much le. No violin lesson for the next week, now I'm still contemplating if I should change my lesson time :/

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Monday, June 4, 2012
3rd violin lesson! And other things in the week

This post is meant to be posted on 3/6/2012, but I forgot to post it before midnight lol.

Had my 3rd violin lesson today! WH had some issues with her teacher and she might not be continuing in the school :/ Well, I do have some issues of my own too, but not much major ones. Like changing time or day of lesson. My teacher has been good so far, and finally today I've started learning notes! No more the days of only being able to play on open strings! Haha, she helped me tape my violin with golden finger tape for positions 1 and 3. She said she'll give me a year before taking off the tape. Better start training my hearing! Oh and she kept correcting my right hand position lol, esp the little finger. Till now I still am not concretely sure about the correct position to hold the bow.

Oh and the teacher also said she is free on friday mornings from Aug onwards. Hope that my timetable will be able to accommodate that, hopefully friday's a free day for me!

Oh, had a meeting yesterday at cfa to discuss about naf. I was early ok! Haha shall try to keep that up. Oh yes it was pouring on that day! Super big rain, was fighting the rain to protect my precious laptop. After that was the SL crash course, I am no SL or ASL, but went because everyone else was going and I didn't have anything else on, it's useful too! Received 3 scores and looked through but couldn't figure out which one was the prime 1 parts lol. And it's so stressful to be a SL, gotta sacrifice practice during sectionals, must be able to keep time and listen for errors, must be able to teach and lead section members..... etc etc. I kept being reminded of hejing and how hard and headache it must be for her to have me in alto 1 lol. Gotta teach, guide and look after me who can't even read notes lol. Reminded of the time during music camp, it was the last sectionals I think, and she taught me one-on-one. Haha, glad that I'm not the ASL too, I don't think I can handle the job. Gotta take care of my own playing first before I can teach others. When I first got the score, I tried to read it, still very slow, but hey, so much better than how I was the same day one year ago. Still cannot sightread properly, sigh. And felt intimidated when everyone else was so pro, when in the end, almost everyone started playing guitars, and I couldn't cos I'll most probably be embarrassing myself. Can't deny the fact that my pride is rather strong lol.

There will be an engagement on 15 July and I'll be playing the cowbell. A bit glad that I'm not playing the guitar (to be honest I'm not confident of my playing, reminds me of what shu hann mentioned during the crash course), but I'm a bit worried about playing the cowbell cos I'm worried about my sense of rhythm, and I'm prolly the only one on the cowbell lol, so there's the pressure of playing "solo". And I'm very afraid of disappointing CC cos if I can't do it, he'll have to find someone else, like giving him more troubles lol. And then it would seem like I'm very useless lol, guitar cmi, percussion also cmi. Haha. Shu hann said smth like, one may not be the best player, but the most hardworking one. I shall try to be the hardworking one, need not be the most hardworking, but hardworking enough to reach the goals that I have set for myself. Shall start practising and trying out the scores to improve my sightreading. It is still the thing that I feel most embarrassed about, being unable to sightread fast.

Ok, so what's in store for the next few weeks?

Tmr will be meeting my partner to make the matric fair boards. And then should be free this week, haha then one day go eat ice cream, cos I got 8 coupons lol and they expire by 13 June! Shall try to get dad to bring us out to finish up the coupons. And then nothing much alrdy, tuesdays going to prac the cowbell, and then sectionals going to start in 19 days. And having violin lessons. My days will probably be filled with guitar and violin pracs, or doing guitar stuffs haha. Oh and maybe going for rag lol.

Time passes so fast, its June already! May 2012 is gone and will never come back :( Anw Hebe's concert is in 5 days! And only Cat 4 tickets are left! Wish her all the best for the concert! Although I can't go cos it's too exp. Maybe next time when I'm earning my own income (then I'll be learning the cello too hopefully!)

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